Saturday, May 28, 2011

Leaving Rivendell

Yesterday I flew out of Denver, Colorado, heading home for Georgia. I’ve officially graduated from Ellerslie’s Advanced program.

It has been quite the year, to say the very least. I’ve seen a taste of what heaven will be: I feel like I’ve been at Ellerslie forever, yet it hasn’t been long enough. The environment found at Ellerslie is something entirely different from anything I have ever seen in this world. The bonds of fellowship I have formed there are deeper than any other fellowship I’ve experienced. I think that is because we have something deeper there than just normal friendship. It’s almost like we went through ‘Nam together. Even if I can’t remember what state they’re from, or how many siblings they have, I know that we can nod and smile knowingly at one another.

When I left home a year ago, I had this feeling of stepping out into the unknown. It’s much like the way Samwise felt as he and Frodo were leaving the Shire: “If I take one more step, it will be the furthest away I’ve ever been from home.” You could say I “left the Shire” when I went to Ellerslie.

To continue the Lord of the Rings analogy, I feel as though Ellerslie has been my Rivendell. Ellerslie is a place of healing, of preparation for the journey that is to come. I have been taught, trained, built up, and prepared for whatever may come.

Now what comes? Mordor lies ahead, and with that, discomfort, pain, suffering, and trials. Yet the difference between Frodo and Sam and myself is that I have the essence of my “Rivendell” within me. Jesus Christ remains ever with me; truly I am never alone.

The epic adventure that God has called us to is so much grander than the one that those two courageous hobbits went on. They fought a temporal battle; ours has eternal ramifications. They had Aragorn and Gandalf; we get King Jesus on our side. They took a ring to a volcano; we are out to see men and women rescued by the Lord and Savior. No matter where I go in my life, whether I fight in this country, or in some foreign land, I know my Jesus stands beside me.


Note: Because I am no longer at Ellerslie, this blog will be discontinued. I am considering reconstructing it or creating a new one, but as for now, there will be no more posts until further notice. Thank you for reading; I pray you have been blessed.

Saturday, May 14, 2011

Of Water and Fairies

“In the former part of this history I showed how fond these fairies were of water. But the fact was, they were far too fond of it. It had grown a thorough dissipation with them. Their business had been chiefly to tend and help the flowers in which they lived and to do good offices for everything that had any kind of life about them. Hence their name of Good People. But from finding the good the water did to the flowers, and from sharing in the refreshment it brought them, flowing up to them in tiny runnels through the veins of the plants, they had fallen in love with the water itself, for its own sake, or rather for the pleasure it gave to them, irrespective of the good it was to the flowers which lived upon it. So they neglected their business, and took to sailing on the streams, and plunging into every pool they could find. Hence the rapidity of their decline and fall.” – George Macdonald, The Carasoyn.

In this short story, Macdonald tells of a tribe of fairies who, having left their proper station in life became quite mischievous, pulling all sorts of pranks on each other and the humans around them for their own pleasure. Because of their wickedness, the fairies were soon banished from their home land (Scotland) to another land (England). However, they still there retained their love – or should I say, lust – for water.

We see then this progression of the fairies’ love of water: they loved the water for its purpose; then for its own self; finally for the pleasure it gave. Water itself is, of course, not evil; but it became evil to the fairies because of their obsession with it. Thus, the purpose of water was perverted, and the fairies’ usage of it became primarily selfish.

So with us: we can love something because of its purpose, or what it ought to be, or the glories of what the thing is, but that pure love can turn into a desire for the pleasure derived from the thing. We see this in relationships many times. A man (we’ll call him Jack) loves a woman (she will be Jill). Jack loves Jill in a pure and holy way, and their love, being mutual, begins a relationship. At the outset, Jack is entirely selfless, giving of himself to his beloved Jill; she returns his love in similar fashion. However, as time goes on, Jack begins to love not just Jill, but the relationship itself. Of course, this isn’t a bad thing, for love, when pure, is a great thing.

Soon, Jack’s love for Jill wanes, and his love for the relationship itself grows. With that a love for the pleasure the relationship brings also grows. Before long, Jack is no longer in this relationship with Jill because he loves Jill; instead, he loves the pleasure being in a relationship brings him. If he were honest, he would at that time trade Jill for any other girl who could give him equal or greater happiness.

As awful as this may sound, we do it all the time; perhaps not to people, but to God. In Colossians 3, Paul says:

“If ye then be risen with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ sitteth on the right hand of God. Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth. For ye are dead, and your life is hid with Christ in God. When Christ, who is our life, shall appear, then shall ye also appear with him in glory.” In the same breath, Paul then writes, “Mortify therefore your members which are upon the earth” and one of these is “inordinate affection”.

Now if proper affections would be the heart focused and trained solely upon Christ, then inordinate affections are those feelings and loves that are directed towards anything other than God or Christ. If our primary affections are not taken up with Christ, then we have fallen prey to inordinate affections.

This is the pattern then, much like with the fairies and Jack and Jill: we love God, because He first loved us, and our affections are wrapped up in His person; slowly then, our affections turn until they are merely focused on the good things God gives us. Now we no longer love God but only the pleasure knowing Him gives us.

I see this most often in my emotional experiences in the past. I felt close to God, not because I was actually near to Him, but because I was feeling good at the time; perhaps a worship service had warmed my heart or a speaker inspired me. But as soon as the emotions faded, I thought myself far away from God. Truly my love wasn’t for God, but for the emotions religious activity could bring me.

C.S. Lewis said, “God cannot give us a happiness and peace apart from Himself, because it is not there. There is no such thing.” Joy cannot be a separate entity from Christ because He is our joy. As the verse in Colossians said, He is our life. He is our everything.
If we have the emotions without the God, then we have missed something. God may yet give us emotional experiences, but we are never to love them for themselves. We are never to love and crave joy for joy’s sake. We are never to desire passion for passion’s sake. It must always be for Him and His sake, for our love for Him, that we desire these things.

May we desire Him and Him alone.

Note: I do not condone all that George Macdonald writes and believes. He is incredibly profound, but I also want to state that I do not agree with everything he says.